If I never knew you
by PixiesCanFly
Summary: The war is at an end. The light has lost. Ron and Hermione are among the last survivors, locked together in a cell at Voldemort's disposal, waiting for their call to death. They discuss what could have been different. RHr. HG barely mentioned


The knots were tight around Hermione's wrists. She watched Ron struggling weakly across from her against the knots that tied their wrists, knowing it was futile. They were waiting now in a small, gloomy cell in one of the Dark Lord's many strongholds, not for a miracle, not for a rescue, both were out of the question now. They were waiting for Voldemort to grow tired of the last toy he had and choose one of them. They'd been there, powerlessly watching when the hope of the Wizarding World was crushed. They'd been fighting on either side of Harry when he was felled by the killing curse that he'd never seen coming.

"Ron," Hermione breathed finally, trying to hide the catch in her voice as she held his eye, seeing so many things there that she wished she'd known earlier. She took a breath and summoned her Gryffindor courage.

"I'm glad, you know." she whispered. He blinked at her, confused. She smiled, of course he wouldn't understand at once, no matter what else changed, he was still Ron.

"When I got my Hogwarts letter, I had the choice. I could decline, go to a Muggle school, lead a Muggle life. I could have lived normally, not seen any of this war, any of this pain and hurt. I wouldn't have been there when Harry...or when Ginny and Neville were...I would never have seen it when Fred...or been there when George fell apart. I wouldn't know about Dark Arts or murderers or curses or pain and loss and death. My parents would still be alive. I'd be going off to university about now, studying maths or accountancy or law or something. I would be living a normal life."

She looked back into his eyes and saw the pain in them and so quickly cut off her speech. She hadn't meant to hurt him. He was averting his eyes. She could see the gash down the side of his face clearly, barely healed. She stifled a sob.

"No, Ron," she continued quietly, "That's just it. I wouldn't choose that, not for a second. No matter what. Even if...even if this life isn't...well of course it isn't..." she cursed herself, normally she could find the words she needed easily. She took a breath to calm herself and continued speaking to the side of Ron's face, "Before I came to Hogwarts, there was nothing in my life. There were books, and words, and knowledge and learning, and those were good." She saw his smile and echoed it herself, despite herself.

"But even then, I didn't know what love was like. I didn't have friends. I didn't know what it felt like to be wanted, needed. And then I met you and Harry and everything changed. You were my first friends, the first people that I ever truly connected to. And all I wanted to say is...well...thank you. If I'd never known you, if I'd never led this life, there's so much I would've missed out on."

Images of The Burrow flashed through her mind, dinner with the Weasleys, of watching the boys play Quidditch, of Harry and Ginny smiling at each other in what they thought was a subtle way, of Neville discussing plants with her, of Remus pointing out the weak points of a strange dark creature, of Ron, bent over a chessboard with his tongue poking out when he should be doing Charms.

"And I just want you to know, that even if we die tomorrow, I'm glad that I chose to come into this world, and there's no way I'd rather have lived the past eight years than with you and Harry and everyone else." She sniffed a few times and then decided that this was no situation to hide your feelings in and let the tears slide down her cheeks, keeping the smile on her face as she remembered the good times as well as everything she had lost. Ron slowly looked up, his eyes meeting hers finally with a fire and passion that she hadn't seen in them before.

"I...I mean...same...of course. I mean...I didn't have the choice...but if I did...I wouldn't..." he struggled, his ears turning red, even in the gloomy dungeon, "And...you know that...I mean...I...since...I...Hermione I..."

The door crashed open suddenly and they both jumped, breaking eye contact. A figure in a black cape strode in and began to untie the bindings on Hermione's arms. Ron struggled, pulling at his bindings and shouting words that couldn't penetrate her world anymore. She simply stood, gracefully and calmly, knowing that there was nothing else she could do, could ever have done, this was the life that she had chosen and the life she had loved, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. There was nothing left for her here, except to die, and maybe...

She turned back to Ron, earning a sharp kick in the back, but kept her eyes on his for a second.

"I love you too, remember that. And we'll see you soon." She smiled thinly at him. He tried to smile but it didn't reach further than his lips.

"Tell Harry to practise his chess, I'm gonna come thrash him soon." She nodded in acceptance and turned to the door, ready to face what was coming.


End file.
